The worst way to start a tour...

I was recently asked to submit this story for a book being published about one of the bands I've tour managed - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD).

Fri Sept 16, 2011 was not my first OMD show, but it was my very first show as the band’s tour manager. On their previous US tour earlier that year, I had looked after their merchandise and handled their sound check parties and VIP Meet n Greets. This time I had been asked to step up and run the entire tour. I was honored and excited about the opportunity. Every band is different so there’s always a learning curve in the beginning, but what happened that night in Miami was well outside the bounds of the usual learning curve, and very well could have been my first and last night on the gig.

I should start by saying that this place was not your typical music venue. It was much more of a dance club than a performance hall. The stage was positioned awkwardly to one side of the room and there was bulky patio furniture laid out everywhere. We loaded in the day before the show and did a full production rehearsal with the band, so we were familiar with some of the staff. This gave me a bit more comfort than I would have had walking in cold, but still, something wasn’t right with this place. Come to find out there were several owners that all had a hand in running the club but none of them could agree on what type of club they wanted it to be. It seemed the only common thread was that they all enjoyed the nightlife a little too much to be in the nightlife business, if you know what I mean. In fact, I’m not so sure the club wasn’t a front for a much seedier business operating out the back door. This became quite evident on show day when, every time I turned around, I was meeting another owner of the club and his entourage of people that seemed entitled to the band’s private space. There was an attitude that they had come up with the money to buy one of the bands they loved in high school, and now we were there to honor their every wish. That’s not how it works! Despite the club owners being clueless, the venue production manager with whom we were dealing, actually seemed to be quite level-headed, which gave me some hope that we’d make it through. Unfortunately he injured himself that morning and wasn’t able to stay for the show. Losing him meant we no longer had an ally on the other team...and we were about to need one!

The dressing rooms, if you can call them that, were located upstairs above the club. They had obviously not put much thought into that part of the venue. It was basically an abandoned attic space with a filthy bathroom, complete with dirty mops sitting in mucky water in the tub where the band would soon be showering. Though I couldn’t get anyone to understand why that was unacceptable, they eventually obliged and got it cleaned up right before the band arrived.

There was no proper catering at the venue so we had to send our runner out for dinner. The band chose sushi but by the time we collected everyone’s order, called it in, dealt with a language barrier over the phone, then fought traffic to get it, it arrived much later than it should have and the band’s entire pre-show schedule was thrown way off. They were not happy about this and I can understand why. Timing of meals and rest before a show is paramount, as it can affect the artists physically and mentally during the performance.

Once they had finally eaten, the guys tried to get back in the groove as best as they could. Some of them took naps while others took showers and got dressed for the show. In addition to the usual first-night jitters, we were all feeling rushed. While the band was making their preparations, I realized I hadn’t yet discussed the protocol for starting the show with the crew. Like most British road crews I’ve worked with, the OMD crew did not like to wear 2-way radios. (I guess shouting across a room at someone all day was more their style!) So I walked downstairs and visited with each crew member individually. The general consensus was that the band was always on time so as long as the show started right at the advertised show time, there would be no issues. I prefer the more traditional radio call or a flashlight signal so I was hesitant about this plan, but everyone else seemed to think it was no big deal so I went with it. We synchronized our watches and I made the long trek back upstairs to find the band still behind schedule. I looked down at my watch realizing that I didn’t have enough time to go back down and relay this information to the crew. As the clock struck 10pm, the house lights went off, the intro music from “Dazzle Ships” began playing, and the light show began. The only problem is that the band was still upstairs in the dressing room getting ready and Andy was actually still in the shower! The second he heard “Dazzle Ships” rattling through the floor beneath him, he panicked and ran out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around him. Somehow they all got dressed and started moving down the incredibly long flight of stairs expressing their disbelief and dissatisfaction along the way. We got to the sidestage area just in time for the intro to end. The idea was to hold the band there and restart the intro, hoping no one would know the difference, but in the chaos and confusion half the band ran on stage awkwardly in the midst of silence, while the other half of them stayed back behind the curtain for a do-over. This created an uncomfortable delay between the intro and the first song that I’m sure felt like hours to the band, but was truly only a few seconds. I stood there in disbelief as the show finally got started and I began to process what had just happened. This was not how I had envisioned my first show of the tour!

Luckily despite the false start, the show was high-energy and went off without a hitch. I was fully prepared to take the heat from the band after the show, but was confronted with such a whole new set of issues that I never got the opportunity. While the band was showering up and changing, one of the club owners busted up in the dressing room with a girl on each arm wanting to hang with the band. He was obviously intoxicated and under the impression that since he had paid for us to be there, he could breach the boundaries that typically existed between artist and promoter. Once again, that’s not how this works. I instinctively charged forward towards the guy, trying to urge him out the door and defend the band’s private space. At this point, Andy who is standing behind me in his underwear is asking me to calm down and be polite, since after all, this guy IS the “promoter”. I remember backing him into the stairwell and wondering if I was going to have to knock him out and push him down the stairs to get him away from us. At this time I look over to see OMD’s manager standing against the wall watching it all unfold in disbelief. Keep in mind, this was my first time in charge of an OMD show, and while they may have thought they knew me, at this point I’m not so sure the band and their manager didn’t think that I conducted myself like this every day!

No sooner did I get rid of this guy, that I now have to deal with one of his partners in order to get paid for the performance. I kept texting him and telling him to come up and settle with me. Finally he shows up with a sealed envelope and piece of paper with scribble scratch all over it. When I asked him what it was, he said it was his settlement sheet. Now, I have a strong accounting background and I’ve seen all kinds of show settlements, but this didn’t appear to be anything close to the usual format. After further examination, I realize that this is nothing more than a tally of the cash taken at the door, separated by denomination. This is something that would go with the venue general manager’s nightly deposit, not to an Artist’s tour manager. There was no official ticket audit and no breakdown of expenses with backups to substantiate them. Furthermore we had sold enough tickets to receive an overage in addition to our guarantee. Without a proper settlement, there is no way to determine that the artist is receiving their fair share as set out in the contract. If I didn’t know for sure by now that these guys were amateurs and that this was not a real venue, this was all the proof I needed. After the discussion hit an impasse and the situation once again became heated, I took the envelope, which thankfully contained a check, excused the promoter, and resigned to getting the rest of the money through the booking agent first thing Monday morning. This is never ideal, but sometimes is the best recourse. After all, I still had to deal with getting the equipment loaded out of the venue so we could hit the road and make it to Orlando for our show the next day.

As I returned to the stage level of the venue, my crew met me at the base of the stairs, telling me the club was reopening as a disco and we would not be allowed to move our equipment out until they closed at 5am. It was midnight at this point, so that meant we had to wait 5 hours and would be late to our next show. No way this was going to happen! I started raising hell with anyone I could find that worked for the club. No one seemed to care about our plight. At this point I was confronted by a third, obviously intoxicated, club owner who was now following me around the venue calling me names and cussing at me incoherently. I finally found a sympathetic security guard at the main entrance that offered to help us get our gear out despite the crowd of people that were piling back in the place. I called our bus driver and told him to pull the bus up to the door closest to the stage, open the trailer, and stand outside the front door. I also asked him if by chance he had a gun. I was serious. I wasn’t so sure at this point we wouldn’t need it. I had only known this driver for about 48 hours and now I was asking him to watch my back in the streets of Miami! The plan was for the crew to basically go in the venue and steal back our own equipment and load the trailer as quickly as possible while I got the dressing room broken down and put our money securely on the bus. I told the merch guy to pack up and get out as quickly as possible, once again thwarting a proper settlement between the venue and the tour. With the help of a few cooperative security guards and stagehands, we finally were able to make our escape and head to our next show in Orlando.

I’ll never forget the looks on everyone’s faces when I got on the bus. There weren’t any words to describe the situation, but I know we all had the same thought -- if tomorrow is anything like today, this is going to be a LONG tour!

While it may have been the absolute worst way to start a tour, I’m happy to report the band was gracious enough not to fire me and we went on to have a splendid run of shows across the US and all over the world! It’s been 6 years since I’ve worked with OMD, but I’ve just been invited back for their upcoming North American outing and I’m very much looking forward to it! I’m also quite relieved that Miami is not on the itinerary this time!